“Put those away” and other awkward feedback

While tips on providing feedback isn’t a new topic for this blog— I do know I haven’t had the guts to be this direct before.  Today’s tip tackles awkward feedback—addressing issues like cleavage, body odours/scents, tight/low-rise pants, falling asleep, texting during work hours and so on.

I feel (and have heard from educators) that these are the hardest issues to provide feedback on.  I also feel that even though we've had opportunities to give this sort of feedback our natural reaction is to just hope the issue will just get better on its own.

I could blather on here, but this link called Giving Feedback - 3 Funny Examples of Giving Employee Feedback says it well.  Shari Harley provides an entertaining and practical way to execute giving awkward feedback.

The clip is almost 15 minutes long.  While I recommend you watch the whole thing, here are the highlights (the time in red is what minute the topic is addressed if you want to skip to that part).

4:30    She demonstrates how to tell someone to “put the girls away”.  Her steps are to:

1. Introduce the conversation “I’d like to talk to you”
2. "I’ve noticed that…"
3. Provide a statement regarding the impact of this 
4. Provide examples (I think this is number 4 in the video; she skips what #4 is)
5. Ask for her take on it (The most likely human response is defensiveness so don`t be surprised by this)
6. Make a suggestion (The Winnipeg version of her example is the store Garage)
7. Ask “are you willing to do that”?
8. Finish up with something like “Thank you for your time; I’m glad we had this discussion.  I know it was awkward.”  Then end the conversation (no one wants to hear about something they are doing wrong for more than 2 minutes).

8:30 to 9:45  She demonstrates the process again with giving feedback about body odour.

11:55  She demonstrates the process again to address texting in front of clients.

Some other gems in this video include:

• When you tell someone the truth you are doing them a favour.
• Don’t expect that just one chat will change the behaviour.  Be prepared to address it again.  She suggests that you say something like “Be prepared to talk about this again.  If I see it getting better I will let you know and if it`s not getting better I'll let you know." 

If you have any other resources, tips, or strategies about giving awkward feedback, please share with us!  

Lisa

Revised by Julie, 2024